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I love you in Indonesian: cinta or sayang

Two words for love, and the one you will hear far more is also a term of endearment and, confusingly, an expression of regret.

a1Lesson 16 of 435 minWhere people get stuck

By the end of this lesson

  • Say I love you in the register you actually mean
  • Use sayang as an endearment
  • Avoid the trap where sayang means something else entirely

The two

Aku cinta kamu. ‘I love you.’
Aku sayang kamu. ‘I love you.’

Both translate the same way and they are not interchangeable.

Cinta is romantic love, and it is heavy. It belongs to declarations, to song lyrics, to the moment things become serious. Said too early or too casually it sounds theatrical.

Sayang is affection. It covers love for a partner, for a child, for a parent, for a close friend. It is warm rather than dramatic, and it is what people actually say to each other day to day.

If you are unsure which one the situation calls for, it is sayang.

Sayang as a name

Sayang is also the word you call someone, the way English uses “darling” or “love”.

Sayang, sudah makan? ‘Have you eaten, love?’

You will hear it constantly between couples and from parents to children.

The trap

Sayang has a second meaning with no connection to the first: what a shame.

Sayang sekali. ‘What a pity.’
Sayang, hujan. ‘Shame, it’s raining.’

Same word, same spelling, and only the situation separates them. Nobody will misunderstand you in practice, but the first time you hear someone say sayang about the weather it is disorienting.

The step below

Aku suka kamu. ‘I like you.’

Suka is like, for people and for things. It is genuinely a smaller statement, and it is the safe one early on.

Missing someone

Aku rindu kamu. ‘I miss you.’
Aku kangen kamu. Same thing, and this is the one people say.

Kangen is Javanese in origin and has spread nationally. Rindu is the literary form.

What you’ll actually hear

What the book says: Saya mencintai kamu.
What you’ll hear: Sayang kamu. or, in a message, just ILY.

The formal mencintai with its me- prefix belongs to writing. Nobody says it out loud to a person they are in the room with.

Words from this lesson

cintaloveRomantic, weighty, a little dramatic. Used in songs more than in kitchens.
sayanglove, affection, darlingEveryday. Also means 'what a shame', which catches everyone.
sukato likeAku suka kamu is 'I like you', and it is a real step below.
rinduto miss someoneKangen in casual speech.