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Inviting someone, and the invitation that is only politeness

How to ask someone out, and how to tell a real invitation from the ritual one everyone extends.

a2Lesson 30 of 345 minWhere people get stuck

By the end of this lesson

  • Invite someone in the natural register
  • Recognise a ritual invitation for what it is

Let’s

Ayo and its casual twin yuk are the everyday way to propose anything.

Yuk, makan. ‘Let’s eat.’
Ayo kita pergi. ‘Let’s go.’
Yuk! on its own is a complete invitation.

Yuk is placed at the start or the end interchangeably: makan yuk is just as normal.

Asking someone along

Ajak is to bring someone with you.

Boleh saya ajak teman? ‘Can I bring a friend?’
Ajak siapa? ‘Who are you bringing?’

Proposing something specific

Mau nonton? ‘Fancy seeing a film?’
Ngopi yuk. ‘Let’s get a coffee.’
Ada acara nggak besok? ‘Are you free tomorrow?’

Ngopi is coffee turned into a verb, and it means the social event rather than the drink. Indonesian does this freely: ngemall is to go to the mall, ngewarung is to hang about at a warung.

The invitation that is not one

This is the part worth knowing. Mampir ‘drop in’ is offered constantly, often as pure courtesy, in the way English says “we should get lunch sometime”.

Mampir ya! ‘Come round!’

Sometimes it is a real invitation. Sometimes it is a warm way of ending a conversation. The signal is specificity: a real invitation comes with a day, a time, or a follow-up message. A ritual one does not.

Turning up unannounced at someone’s house because they said mampir is a mistake foreigners make once.

The same works in reverse. Saying mampir ya as you part is friendly and commits you to nothing, and it is a useful phrase for exactly that reason.

Food is the default

Makan-makan is a get-together built around food, and it is the standard social unit. Almost any occasion, from a birthday to a promotion to moving house, is marked with one.

If someone says nanti kita makan-makan, they are proposing to celebrate something.

What you’ll actually hear

What the book says: Apakah Anda bersedia bergabung dengan kami?
What you’ll hear: Ikut, yuk!

Words from this lesson

ayocome on, let'sYuk is the casual version and is everywhere.
ajakto invite someone along
mampirto drop in
makan-makana get-together with food